I am ANGRY

Text: Ephesians 4: 26,27

Dr Alex Tang

Summary

We must be able to acknowledge our anger when we experience it.

We must be able deal with our anger appropriately so that the anger

does not lead us to sin but be resolved by understanding and

by the means of Grace

Introduction

A recent Gallup poll in the US found that 49% of those surveyed experienced anger at work and with one out of six, so angry that he or she felt like hitting another person. Another survey by Access Atlanta, done through the internet put the figure at 67%. Someone said the figure of people being angry all the time should be 95%. The remaining 5% is either mentally ill or in a coma.

Are Christians allowed to get angry?

We must realise that God experiences anger. In the NIV, God’s ‘anger’ is written 390 times. Added words like ‘wrath’ (197 times), ‘provoke’ (52 times) and ‘vengeance’ (32 times).

Text

26 And “don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 for anger gives a mighty foothold to the Devil. (NLT)

Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry-but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life. (The Message)

26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,  27 and do not give the devil a foothold. (NIV)

Context

Ephesians is probably written about the same time as Colossians c. 60AD. Even though the author identified himself as Paul, there are some doubts whether Paul is the actual author. The author does not seem to be familiar with the Ephesians though Paul himself has spent some time with them. Unlike other epistles, the letter to the Ephesians did not address any specific heresy but to expand the hearer understands of what is a Christian life and God’s purpose for the church.

Eph. 4:1-6:20 – Practical ways to fulfil God’s purpose in the Church.

4:1-6                Unity

4:7-10              Maturity

4:17-5:20         Renewal of Personal Life

5:21-6:9           Submission in Personal Relationships (husband and wives; children and parents; slaves and masters)

Exposition

Verse 26a

“In your anger do not sin”:

Paul is quoting and paraphrasing from Psalms 4:4

4Don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you. Think about it overnight and remain silent.

anger- orgizo { or-gid’-zo} { ojrgivzw }

1)   to provoke, to arouse to anger

2)      to be provoked to anger, be angry, be wroth

It is characterised by a settled inner attitude. It is an emotion. It is not sin. It is not the feeling of an emotion that is a problem here. It is what you do with it. The sin is linked to what you choose to do with the anger, with personal animosity  and vengeance.

What are the types of anger  described by the New Testament?

1)      thumos

thumos anger is a turbulent; boiling commotion that can be best illustrated by the burning if a match. At the point of ignition, there is an explosion of the flame. We experience it as ‘fits of rage’ (Gal.5:20) or ‘rage’ (Eph.4:31).

2)      parorgosimos

parorgosimos anger is irritation or exasperation. It is an internal experience of irritation. In Eph.6:4, Paul told us not to provoke our children to parorgosimos.

3)      orgizo

orgizo anger is the most complex of the three. It is an inner emotion that can lead to the above other two types of anger. In Mark 3:5, where Jesus was about to heal the man with a shriveled hand, the Pharisees expressed concern that this was done on Sabbath. Jesus, “looked around at them in anger (orgizo) and deeply distressed at their stubborn heart.” Here, Jesus reacts to their religious stubbornness with emotional anger, but there was no revenge or personal animosity. Paul in Eph.4:31 told the Ephesians Christians to “ get rid of all bitterness, rage (thumos) and anger (orgizo), brawling and slander, along with every form of malice”. Paul recognises that orgizo can lead to personal animosity and sin.

4)      aganakyesis

aganakyesis is anger of irritation and indignation with a sense of grief. Like when your children do not obey you. Jesus was aganakyesis when the disciples prevented the children to be brought to him (Mark 10:14).

The Bible distinguishes between the emotion of anger and sin. Feeling  emotions is not sinful. We are human beings. Human beings are emotional beings. To deny that we experience emotion is to deny that we are human. The Bible teaches us to be human. That is why there are so much emotions in the Bible. Feeling emotion is not a sin. It is what we do with the emotions we feel that are important. It is the action in response to the emotion that is important. In respond to the emotions, we have to choose. We can either let our emotions lead us to sin or to righteousness.

3.2       Verse 26b

Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,

angry- parorgismos { par-org-is-mos’} { parorgismov" }

1)                  indignation, wrath, exasperation

This is the anger that is nurtured until we seek revenge or we become bitter. Dr. Martyn Lloyd Jones of Westminster Chapel, London, in his sermon series on Ephesians described parorgismos as ‘anger aroused and nourished until it become a settled condition; it means anger aroused and nursed and nourished until it become a settled condition; it means hated, bitterness of spirit, vindictiveness. It means you are determined to get your own back, to seek vengeance and absolutely determined to get it. It is become part of you’. That’s why Paul warns about allowing orgizo anger to become parorgismos anger.

‘Do not let the sun go down on your anger’ means you have to settle it as soon as possible. Many married couple I know takes it literally. They tried to resolve their anger before bedtime. Unfortunately some anger takes time to resolve. By rushing to resolve it often gives a false illusion that it is resolved. It has often being suppressed or repressed. Over time, it will rear its head again.

How do people react to anger?

1)      Suppression

The suppression of anger is the process that takes the experience of anger seriously but holds down its expression. Sometimes it is necessary to suppress anger temporary but if we continue to suppress and not deal with it, it is inappropriate.

2)      Repression

Repression occurs when people ignore and deny their experience to such a degree that they are unable to express it behaviorally or even acknowledge it to themselves. Others may realise that the individual is angry and frustrated, but the person is totally very much out of touch with what is happening. This is inappropriate. To block and deny anger is living a lie.

Suppression and repression of anger direct anger inwards. After a period of time, they became irritable, suffer from frequent headaches, hypertension, chronic exhaustion or emotional reactions such as depression.

3)      Expression

Here some people express their anger. Some gently while others with the force of a tornado. Unlike suppression and repression where there is separation between experience and expression of anger, in expression, there is no such distinction. Recent psychology tells us that we must express our anger. Let it all out no matter who get hurt. Someone told me, “I don’t get ulcers, I give other people ulcers.”

4)      Confession

Confession is acknowledging the experience of anger. It is not letting all the anger out but talking and thinking about the anger in a detached manner. Often the confession of anger involves an exposure of blocked values or goals that caused the rich emotional content.

Verse 27

and do not give the devil a foothold.

Unresolved anger leads to sin and allow the devil to have a foothold in our lives.

Unresolved anger will affect our health, our emotional state and our spiritual growth. It not only affects us but it also affects our loved ones, our spouse and our children. It will affect our colleagues and it will affect our church.

Why do we become angry?

1)      My goals are blocked.

2)      My sense of values is breached.

3)      My expectations are breached.

4)      My sense of worth is breached.

Notice than anger is individualised. It is related to our personality, our values system and our past experience. That is why what makes one person angry may not make another angry.

A Non-Productive Anger Cycle

| | | | | | | | | | | |

Breached values/

Expectations/

Self-worth/

Goals

Emotion/

Physiology

of Anger

Withdrawal

Defensive/

Protective

Behaviour

Increased

Pain

Reactive

Resistance

from

Others

Breach

of Relationship

Conclusion

1)                  It is okay to feel anger.

2)                  We can choose how to react to that anger.

3)                  We prevent that anger from becoming sin by understanding the cause of that anger. Understanding comes by confession to God through prayers, thinking about it and discussing it with a friend/ counselor /pastor etc

4)                  From understanding we resolve the anger by taking the appropriate action of reconciliation, adjustment and acceptance.

There was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, to hammer a nail in the back fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Then it gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, you leave scars just like as in this fence."

Soli Deo Gloria

Further reading

Glenn Taylor & Rod Wilson, Exploring Your Anger, (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book, 1997)

Neil Anderson & Rich Miller, Getting Anger Under Control, (Eugene, OR: Harvest Press, 2002)

A Productive Anger Cycle